


Everyone and Everyone

by Fluxit_Aqua_et_Sanguine, Night_Witch_The_Third, Sir_Weston



Series: Everyone and Everyone [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action & Romance, Awkward Romance, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Interspecies Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Love at First Sight, Love/Hate, M/M, Other, Romance, Teen Romance, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:45:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9283049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluxit_Aqua_et_Sanguine/pseuds/Fluxit_Aqua_et_Sanguine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_Witch_The_Third/pseuds/Night_Witch_The_Third, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Weston/pseuds/Sir_Weston
Summary: Everyone and Everyone attempts to tackle something no one thought possible: pair every character in Harry Potter with every other character in Harry Potter!  That's right! Any character that appears inside the world of Hogwarts will be getting paired with everyone.  The stories will be ranging from silly to romantic to sweet and everywhere in between.  The more possible the shipping, the sweeter and more believable the story!  We will not be dealing with incest and nothing explicit will happen.  First pair: Hannah and Ernie.





	1. Hannah and Ernie

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the deal. One day the three of us (Jinks, Raven, and sister) were jokingly talking about all of our Harry Potter shippings. I started thinking how it would HILARIOUS if we were to attempt pairing nearly every character with every other character (characters only being shipped with others who would be interesting). I have some rules about this though. One, no incest, no matter what. Two, they have to have some sort of connection or interaction (there are exceptions though, as you'll see). And thirdly, in order for some shippings to happen, I believe that some people have to be completely out of character in order for the pairing to ever work. And lastly, they are all one shots. So, keeping that in mind, we go to our first shipping of…

Hannah Abbot and Ernie McMillan

Hannah stood in the crowd of other first years, nervously waiting for her name to be called. What house would she get? What if no one liked her? She hoped she didn't get Slytherin, everyone said it was a bad house. Not surprisingly, her name was called first.  
Taking a breath, she walked up the steps and shoved the Sorting Hat onto her head. For a moment it sat there when there was suddenly a loud cry. "HUFFLEPUFF!"  
Relaxed, Hannah took the hat off and made her way over to the table that was cheering. The crowd began to thin as more and more first years were sorted, including the famous Harry Potter, who went to Gryffindor.  
"Hi!" said the boy next to her. She turned to see a wide-eyed, blonde haired boy sitting next to her and smiling. Hannah felt herself blush. "My name's Ernie! What's yours?"  
"H-H-Hannah," she replied, smiling back. "Isn't it great to be here in this school? Everyone says Hogwarts is the best magic school ever!"  
"Yeah it is!" Ernie replied. "And going to school with the Great Harry Potter? How cool is that?"  
It turned out to be pretty cool. The two of them became great friends, working and studying together. Hannah didn't know what she would have done without Ernie. They also befriended a dark haired boy named Justin, also a first year. They went to every class together, though Hannah was always a bit reluctant went the conversation turned to Harry Potter.  
Hannah thought Ernie was so smart by the second year. How he was able to deduce who the Heir of Slytherin was. She thought he was so brave to stand up to Harry and thinking of their friend Justin.  
"Harry always seemed so nice," she sighed as they sat in the library. "And he was the one who defeated You-Know-Who."  
"No one knows how he defeated You-Know-Who that night," Ernie said, matter-of-factly. "He probably didn't want another dark wizard competing with him or something."  
"Wow, you're so smart," Hannah told him blushing.  
Ernie smiled at her, leaning closer so no one else would hear. "Don't worry, Hannah, that monster of Slytherin won't hurt you. I wouldn't let anyone touch you."  
"And I'd do the same for you," Hannah replied, her heart giving another leap in the air, as she looked at Ernie's blinding smile.


	2. Aragog and the Basilisk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spider and the snake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It’s Sir Weston! Here to post one of my favorite completely random shippings! Here ya go!

As Aragog skittered about, trying to find a way out of the school, he contemplated what would happen to Hagrid. Would he be safe without him? But there was no time to think about that. He had to get out of here before that evil human found him!

The young spider quickly crawled his way into a bathroom and made his way under a sink. He expected just a small crack or crawl space to be underneath, but was rather surprised when a hole opened up and he fell down a long, black tunnel. He fell and fell, for what seemed like hours. How long was it really? Aragog had no sense of time, so he didn’t know.

Finally, he hit the bottom of the tunnel. He laid there, stunned, for a few minutes before finally getting up. There was another tunnel that branched off and he started walking along it. It led into some sort of pipe system.

All was quiet until Aragog heard a slow, slithering sound behind him and he quickly spun around. His beady spider eyes lit up. Rising up behind him was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. It was breath taking, yet frightening. Aragog knew he should fear this creature, but at the same time he could not.

“You…” the creature known as a Basilisk hissed, “What are you doing in my lair? Do you not know what I am?”

Aragog stared in awe at the snake. “Wow…” he sighed. The Basilisk looked confused.

“What are you staring at?” it asked.

“You!” Aragog exclaimed, skittering forward a little with excitement, “You! Why, you’re so… so beautiful!”

The Basilisk looked completely taken aback by this statement. “N-Now see here spider!” it demanded, but Aragog was not listening.

“To think that it would happen here and now! Of all times!” Aragog was getting excited. He skittered up to Basilisk and the snake slowly backed away.

“Oh, all the wasted time! We barely know each other!”

“Do you not know what I am?” the Basilisk screeched, “I am death itself! You would do well to fear me…” The snake turned around to continue its piece, but as soon as it did, Aragog gasped.

“GET THAT ARSE!” Aragog exclaimed. The Basilisk spun around in shock. “Bassy! That has got to be the cutest little bum ever!”

The Basilisk curled its tail over itself in a display of “don’t look at my butt!”

“I’m warning you, spider…” it hissed.

“Oh, that voice!” Aragog sighed, “It’s like music to me! Kiss me! Kiss me, Bassykins!”

“Have you taken leave of your senses?!” Basilisk demanded.

“Yes!” Aragog exclaimed, “Yes, for the first time in my young life I’ve taken leave of my sense and I love it!”

Basilisk hissed and turned away. Aragog slowly skittered up to it and put one hairy leg on its tail in comfort. “Come on, honey,” he said, “Don’t you think you might want a kiss?”

“Well,” Basilisk replied, slowly turning to the spider, “Maybe just a little one…”

The two then proceeded to have really weird and disturbing snake-spider sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is dedicated to A Bit of Fry and Laurie one of the greatest British sketch shows ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, pretty cheesy, I know. But they're pretty minor characters so I didn't want to dwell on them too much. Some of these are going to be sweet, some are cheesy (like this one) and some are just going to be down-right ridiculous. Remember to read and review and tell us which two characters you're dying to see paired together!


End file.
